Episode 4

The real Italian mobility

This content, it is translated in English because it is of worldwide relevance. Thank you.
Italy is a fairly small country but nevertheless Italians always move on board of various vehicles because they hate walking since the days of the ancient Romans (who in fact invented the highways). Italians have their own mode of transport but unfortunately there is little information about the real ways in which Italians are moving. The Italians don’t have the Lancia Aurelia and the Vespa and they do not run around with vintage bikes and the newspaper under the arm like in the movies: the actual scene of the Italian mobility is much, much more exciting.

To show you the real Italian mobility we selected the real ways that currently Italians use to go around for the most beautiful country in the world (where the Romans invented the highways).

The taxi

It has been calculated that in Italy there is a taxi every five inhabitants and Italians are so afraid of taxi drivers (category of very aggressive people) they take taxis even when they don’t need it (like to go to Malpensa). The taxi is the most popular means of transportation in Italy amongst women and people who spend a lot of money when going out at night (so it is very common).

The folding bike

The folding bike is another tool with which Italians have solved the problem of stolen bikes. In fact, when they discovered that there are bikes that you can fold and bring at home and at the office everyone started to buy them, regardless of the fact that the folding bike in truth is very uncomfortable and was only used in war by parachutists to escape.

The Cayenne diesel

Most Italians would like the Cayenne Turbo S but they can’t afford it. Their second wish is the Cayenne Turbo but it is still too expensive. The third wish is the Cayenne S but still costs a lot. To not miss the slice of the Italian market then Porsche has deliberately made the diesel Cayenne and since then Italians finally can be considered almost satisfied.

The pedalos

The pedalos (pedalò) is the means of water transport more widespread in Italy because it is cheap and does not pollute (passengers, however, pollute enough damn zozzoni). If you know an Italian person who tells you that have never been on a pedalos then is lying or is not Italian.

The TMAX

The TMAX is a legendary scooter because it is very in tune with the real taste of the real Italians (tabbozzi) and because of the fact that it goes very fast it have great success in Italy. It is the favorite scooter of the famous Italian musician and public figure Jake the Fury (mi trovi in tele con Super Mario con le Air Max 90 o in Circonvalla col TMAX a 190).

The Gilera Runner 180

2-stroke Gilera Runner 180 is clearly a scooter done by accident because it is a missile and it is too fast for a 2-stroke scooter. Because of this error it has been one of the top selling scooter among the inhabitants of the folk areas of Italy (tabbozzi), and also one of the most stolen (scavallati).

The Honda SH

The Honda SH is the typical Italian scooter, from Milan to Rome to Naples to Palermo, although many think it is the Vespa (wrong!). The saddle is very long and spacious and in some Italian cities the inhabitants use it as a car to carry the whole family and make long journeys.

The 18 year old cheerful girl’s MINI

One of the customs of wealthy Italian families is to give a MINI Cooper to the cheerful daughter as a present for her eighteenth birthday. For this reason the Italian streets are always full of cheerful girls that drive their MINI Cooper with one hand (with the other they send messages). The most popular version is the one with the British flag on the roof.

The 500 with eyelashes

When the cheerful girl from a wealthy Italian family turns 21 and get bored of the MINI Cooper (at that age she has already completely smashed it 8 times) the father give her the white or pink FIAT 500 with an extra gadgets: the eyelashes.

The motard from rich son of a…

The motard from rich son of a… has spread especially in the north but it is not rare to find in Rome and in the rest of the peninsula. The motard from rich son of a… is the vehicle that best represents the Italian category of the rich son of a… because it’s a motocross bike but with smooth tires to go into town and do the same noise that makes a motocross bike (just for fun).

The car2go abused by Southerner in the North

The car2go abused by Southerner in the North is a Smart from the car sharing service car2go victim of one of the traditional behavior of the inhabitants of certain areas of Italy which consists in abusing items not directly owned without a particular reason and then blame the weather, socio-cultural or economic conditions of the North.

The very elaborate 50cc scooter

The 50cc scooter that turns 70cc has become a classic Italian presence throughout the Italian territory. The elaborate 50cc (cinquantino) is illegal and although police continue to stop the owners of very elaborate 50cc and to arrest them they continue to elaborate the 50cc because it is stronger then them. It is an eternal challenge as the one between dogs and cats or between Silvio Berlusconi (the greatest Italian politician of all time) and the judiciary.

The Scarabeo (or other preppy scooter)

Every city has its preppy scooter (relli sanca) and its rustic scooter (relli tabbozzi), the only preppy scooter nationwide is the Scarabeo (also quite popular as chick scooter). It is a status quo scooter also very easy to steal (you just need to remove the shield and use the controller cables, I read it on some magazine) but fortunately it is a scooter from wealthy people so it’s not a problem.

The 500cc microcar

Another status quo vehicle, particularly common in Milan and Rome (the most important cities in Italy so I would say it is very relevant) is the microcar (macchininetta) 50cc that was regularly modified to become a sports car from 210 km/h. The only problem is the plastic shell, virtually the same as a scooter, that is highly disintegrable (despite the racing adhesives).

The 3 poles mountain bike

Much more widespread in Italy than the fixed bike is the 3 poles mountain bike (3 poles means 3 pali which means 3000€). The peculiarity of the Italian relationship with this vehicle is that most of the 3 poles mountain bike sold in Italy are used in the city on Sunday and not to do downhill or off-road excursions like a fool would think.
Finally after this guide you will no longer have stereotypes and preconceptions about the mobility of Italians and you can move yourself as a true Italian around Italy if you come to visit this amazing country.
The UNOTRE’s guide to Italy will continue in the next episode! You’ll soon discover the truth about so many other things we do in this wonderful country.