Episode 7

The real Italian holidays

This content, it is translated in English because it is of worldwide relevance. Thank you.
Unfortunately because of cinema and advertising of Dolce & Gabbana people abroad think that Italians always make boat holidays in Sicily and Vespa holidays in Rome, always with a beautiful pussy and always dressed all accurate, but the real Italian vacation have nothing to do with the boat and with the Vespa (and also with beautiful pussies).
Italians are very concerned with the holidays and they do quite challenging travels to search for tranquility but also a bit ‘of fun, when they are on vacation they have a number of fundamental habits. Clearly with holidays I mean just the summer holidays because the real Italians do not make the winter holiday, they pass all the Christmas holiday eating.
Dear foreigner who want to deepen the Italian culture and dear Italian citizen that for some reason is uninformed, with this guide you can finally make a real Italian vacation as a true Italian. These are the real habits of the real contemporary Italian holidays.

Going to the tourist resort 20km from the sea (but with very big swimming pool)

One of the most common habits of the real Italian holidays is to go to the tourist resort by the sea but not really by the sea. In the sense that it is like at 20km from the sea and usually those who built it has remedied by making a pool long 300 meters where everyone bathe.

Bringing the apartament to the beach (only in some parts of Italy)

It’s typical of some parts of Italy to take to the beach a lot of things like tables, chairs, stools, sofas, newspapers, books, magazines, cooking utensils, stove, dishes, glasses, cutlery, pillows, mini TVs, radios, elderly relatives, I could go on but I will stop.

Sleeping in a two-star hotel with highway view in an art city

Because it costs little and you need to just sleep in there.

24h trip by car to reach the relatives (only in some parts of Italy)

Typical of the inhabitants of some parts of Italy who went to live in other parts of Italy is to go back in the areas of Italy where still live their family, driving for about 24 hours and taking with them the other side of the family (the natives of some parts of Italy have very large families) and bringing the necessary to survive one year (even if they stay two weeks ). Generally for the return trip they are more loaded.

Doing the nice-girls-tour in Lithuania

Typical ritual habit of Italians who reach puberty which then again is repeated by the Italians who reach adulthood and then again when they reach old age.

Doing the nice-girls-tour in Amsterdam

Although this is a typical habit of young Italians on vacation, they often organize the nice-girls-tour (puttantour) in Amsterdam for the high school trip. Difficult to find a true Italian who has not made at least one nice-girls-tour (puttantour) in Amsterdam.

Bringing a buffet all-you-can-eat to the beach (only in some parts of Italy)

In some parts of Italy is a typical habit when you are on holiday to bring to the beach a very generous buffet (usually at least 5 or 6 courses and each course is a tray of 1 meter x 1 meter). Unlike what a fool would think (given that this practice is typical of the coastal areas) the food brought to the beach need to be very heavy and difficult to digest.

The cruise to get laid

The trip for recreational purposes is a practice widespread among real contemporary Italian and the cruise vacation to get laid is the spearhead of this habit. Valid for both men and women.

Making holidays in a tent with a dirty dog and a rasta with the diablo in Salento

Salento is one of the real goals of the real Italian holidays but the holiday mode is very important. To be a real contemporary Italian holiday is necessary to go camping with a dog (dirty) and at least a fellow traveler with dreadlocks and the diablo (alternatively you can easily find this kind of travel companion on the spot).

Making holidays in a house with a dirty dog and a rasta with the diablo in Barcelona

Another location popular as the Salento for having a real Italian holiday with a dirty dog and at least a fellow traveler with dreadlocks and the diablo (also findable on the spot) is the city of Barcelona, which in August has more Italian than Spanish people.

Buying the fake Moncler on the beach in August

One of the typical habits of the real Italian vacation is to go ahead with the wardrobe and buy some heavy quilted jackets that the vucumprà (funny person who sells objects on the beach) carry around all the beaches of Italy. A real experience of the real Italian vacation? Buy a fake Moncler on the beach in Riccione.

The Juventus towel (only in some parts of Italy)

In some parts of Italy very very far from Turin Juventus is the most pupular team and a typical custom in these areas is going to the beach with the Juventus towel, always with two league titles more marked than those counted by the official rules.

Going to super-equipped baths and touching the sea once in two weeks

Some seaside places in Italy have a particular sea (it’s like mud) and because of that they built the baths super-equipped with videogame, restaurant, tennis court, velodrome, racecourse, cycling track, so you can even forget the particular sea.

Going to Africa to take pictures with the malnourished kids

One of the most popular habits, especially among the young Italian women, is going on holiday to Africa for social purposes. These girls go in African villages to get a thousand pictures with malnourished children to sensitize their contacts that they went to Africa (where there are malnourished children).
Now you know how is the real contemporary Italian holiday, if you want to organize a real contemporary Italian vacation just choose one of these fantastic options.
The UNOTRE’s guide to Italy will continue in the next episode! You’ll soon discover the truth about so many other things we do in this wonderful country.